Do not try this at home

I’ve always said I’m special, like super, higher-evolved special. I mean, I never had any wisdom teeth and in the future they won’t have any either. And the fact that I don’t have a working pancreas is further proof that I’m higher evolved; future beings, they won’t require the use of a pancreas either – insulin will be a thing of the past. But now, I’m beginning to think I’m a freaking miracle – like grow a new pancreas miracle! I kid you not, if you saw the state of my blood sugars lately, you wouldn’t be thinking this is crazy talk. Lows. Lows. Lows. And it’s not because I’m pumping myself full of unnecessary insulin, or because I’ve gone on a crash diet and am suddenly starving myself, quite the opposite in fact. My total daily insulin doses have decreased, and if anything, my calorie intake has increased trying to keep …

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