Just call me Smurfette

Oh my poor derriere! I had a bone scan on my ankle at the hospital this morning and had to be there for 8 a.m. So, with 10 minutes to spare, I parked my car and walked towards the entrance, when all of a sudden, out of nowhere, I found myself, butt planted on the cement, toes (in my cute little cowboy boots) scrunched and bent and screaming in pain, hand scraped and an angry red. Damn you black ice!!! And of course it happened on the side that’s already mad at me, the side that’s the reason for the bone scan in the first place. But no skin was broken and as far as I can tell, beyond a slight bruise in an area I don’t care to photograph, no bones were broken either … I suppose a hospital is probably the best place for a butt plant, but seriously, could they not have got the salt out a little sooner … old people, pregnant people, sick people were all walking around!

Now, the bone scan:

At first I was a little nervous. I mean, it was in nuclear medicine after all, and they were injecting me full of some blue stuff that they assured me was not poisonous or hazardous to my health or anything like that, and yet the chick administering it was wearing some serious flack jacket and skirt and I was asked like four times if there was any way I was pregnant, AND check out this sign in the waiting room:

Cause for concern, little bit.

But when a buddy of Mario’s told him last night that I’d be able to see the blue stuff seeping all through my skin, I kinda got curious and so I went with the flow. I didn’t even flinch when, through the eye of my camera, I saw the needle going into my arm, which NEVER happens, I hate when other people give me needles. But I wanted to see the blue stuff, I wanted to capture it seeping through my blood stream, I was focused, I was excited, I mean, really, what girl doesn’t dream of being Smurfette at least once in their lifetime? Andddddddddd…. lunch bag let down! I saw nothing, not even a droplet of blue, boo!

I had two sessions with the Hawkeye MRI machine. The first session right after the blue injection was to see the efficiency of my blood flow between each leg and took about 15 minutes. The second session was about three hours later and it was to check the bone itself and took 35 minutes in a cold, quiet room … the nuclear med chick wasn’t into talking. So, I started thinking: Do they purchase all this equipment for the set of Grey’s Anatomy or just “borrow” it for every episode … wonder how much their overhead is …. Ahh Hawkeye, Hotlips, Honeycutt … Is that a copy of Wall:E I see over there? How freaking long is this going to take?…

Apparently the doc will know in a week if my ankle is a mess or if it is in fact on the mend.

Have you ever had a bone scan?

Book review: I spent the last three weeks reading Emma Donoghue’s Room and at first I found it pretty hard to get into as it was written from the perspective of a five-year-old boy, with all his not-fully developed language nuances, whose life consists of his mom (who was abducted at 19, and her son Jack is the offspring of rape) and the 12-foot square room they live in. The Bed, Rug, Duvet, Wardrobe (where he sleeps), Plant, Rabbit (TV antenna) etc. are his friends, and everything he sees on TV is make believe. As I kept reading though, I started to get more and more drawn in, and with just a few pages left to go, I started to get really annoyed thinking it was going to be a really lame ending, but out of nowhere, it shocked me with a brilliant conclusion.

What are you reading right now?

2 thoughts on “Just call me Smurfette”

  1. Robert Freeman

    Oh, “lunch bag letdown” your blogs are certainly NOT!!!!!!
    Frankly, I don’t know what a smurf is, but I was hooked by every description, every phrase of your journey into nuclear medicine. I never thought about those flak jackets they wear during these examinations – what’s the deal with that!!?? And you could set off airport security!!?? What if some half-wit trigger-happy American gonzo guard is on duty!!?? Well, glad you made it safely home to blog again 🙂 Oh, except for the black ice. Wouldnya know your old nemesis would trip (slip?) you up?

  2. Pingback: Smurfette Part 2: The Bone Scan |

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