You know, I actually went into Pilates yesterday feeling somewhat remorseful for the shoes I wore that day, shoes I often refer to as Stinky Feet Katie shoes. But upon leaving the studio, there was no more remorse, in fact, I wished I’d rubbed my feet through the cow paddies in my parents’ fields. Oh yeah, every thought of revenge surging through my crying body.
But first, the shoes and my guilt. I don’t know what it is about these shoes, they’re high quality leather, well made, good brand, cute as can be, but they’re also flats, which require bare feet, and anything bare feet plus heat is a recipe for stinky feet. So, before going to Pilates, I scrubbed and scrubbed my feet in the bathtub at my moms trying to wash away the stench as best I could, and even rubbed in some peppermint smelling foot therapy to hopefully mask any remaining reek there could be. And then, just to make sure they didn’t get all rank again, I put socks on – socks! – with Mary-Jane flats … I was seriously channeling little orphan Annie!
And I did it all because I did not want to subject my Pilates instructors with such a funky smell. Pretty nice of me, right. Apparently not nice enough.
I don’t know what the hell I did to piss off my Pilates chicks, but my gawd I must have done something truly horrendous, because their revenge was seriously medieval freaking torture. Remember the rack? Well, that was nothing compared to last night.
A few weeks ago I happened to mention that I was getting a little bored with the program I’d been on and that I was interested in a change, you know a few added moves here and there, NOT a whole two 8×10 pages of new moves (a good portion of which had me strapped to some wall rack thing!) and had my ankles, calves, thighs and abs all quivering uncontrollably, and my toes and feet and the backs of my knees and hamstrings cramping up into bloody claws … I kid you not, my muscles were so twisted up I was like a freaking crab! As I left the studio my Pilates chick told me to enjoy tomorrow, with a little too much glee in her voice. I was somewhat concerned with the pain I was sure to endure, but when I woke up and didn’t feel any abnormal aches, I started giggling with thoughts of Haha, I’m stronger than that, who’s laughing now? … by noon, I was NOT laughing. Achy thighs. Achy abs. Dammit!
And now I can honestly say I’ve learned my lesson and I promise never, never, NEVER to use the word “bored” in class again
- 6 p.m. BG before: 9.9
- No temp. basal
- 1.15 hour of fire and brimstone
- 7:30 p.m. BG after: 11.0
Dear Pilates chicks,
I am truly sorry for whatever it is I did to you, please, please, please forgive me, and please show me mercy on Thursday. Please.
Sincerely, a severely sore princess
I better get She Ra freaking abs out of this!