Moronic Mayhem

Dear idiots of B.C.,

From the jam of my toes, I’d like to thank you for turning back time. Seeing as how most of you looked rather young, or maybe it was just your idiotic actions that made you look so young, you probably don’t remember the aftermath of the ’94 riot, so let me just take a moment to fill you in: 16 years of being called the “no-fun” city; 16 years of listening to broken record newscasts fearing another riot every time a big, or even small, event came to our city; 16 years of trying to scrub away the darkest, nastiest, toughest stain our city ever endured. But last year, finally that stain had come clean with the Olympics. We showed that we could handle a huge event, that we could have fun, be respectful, not destroy our city, that we could actually be a fun city. Well, I guess I didn’t really like being a fun city anyway. Idiots.

Now, being a non-idiot myself, I’m a little confused about a few things. Flipping over a car, what’s the thrill in that? Kicking a car, who does that? Looting Sears and London Drugs when you’ve got Tiffany’s down the way, really? And Chapters, come on, you don’t really read do you? And I’m not sure, but you couples getting it on in front of the torched cars, did you think that was candlelight or were you just trying to conserve oxygen? Idiots.

Sincerely… oh wait, you don’t deserve that. I hope all those pictures and videos you all were taking take you down. Who’s laughing now? Idiots.

Pissed off Princess

But apparently some don’t learn from past mistakes. Last night following Game 7 of the Stanley Cup finals where Vancouver lost to Boston, our city was seriously tarnished physically and reputationally. It was almost a carbon copy of Vancouver’s 1994 Game 7 loss to New York when a riot also ensued.

To all my readers who don’t live in B.C. and who saw the disgusting actions of these freaking idiots on the news, I am sorry. Vancouver is a beautiful city, one of the most beautiful cities I’ve ever been in, and last night it was defaced by a minority. I truly believe it had nothing to do with hockey, it was just a bunch of losers with intent on making trouble. To all those who volunteered their time early this morning, with brooms and garbage bags in hand, to clean up the aftermath. I thank you truly from the bottom of my heart for starting the long process back to rebuilding our city’s good reputation. At least some of us aren’t idiots!