Shades of a belly button

To all the teenage girls out there who are absolutely positive a belly-button piercing will elevate their level of hotness, this is my PSA to you: if you have no qualms with developing a majorly deformed belly button later on in life go for it, but if that doesn’t appeal to you, I’d advise you to think two times, three times, 5,000 times before taking that leap!

Take it from me girlies, the future is not so kind to those with punctured holes in their bellies!

I got my belly button pierced twice in the mid ’90s. The first time, I fought with my moms tooth and nail to get it done. She was adamant in her refusal to sign the permission, so I went behind her back and got my sister to pretend to be my moms on the phone. But after just one year, that piercing grew out of my skin … literally the ring popped out one day while getting out of the shower. And so, back to the piercing shop I went. Second time was the charm.

However, a couple years later, I got bored of the metal, and permanently removed it. I haven’t had a ring in there in over 12 years, but I have had a wee scar ever since that was for the most part hidden inside of the confines of the belly button hole. No big deal.

Oh but wait, then I got pregnant. And let me tell you, girlies, the ever-increasing size of my belly, a belly that one has said looks more like 45 weeks than 33 (unlike her, it’s a good thing I filtered my clenched fist that was ready to go through her face!) has caused that once petite scar to grow, and grow, and grow. No longer is it hidden inside the belly button abyss, oh no, now it’s about an inch above the belly button and kind of looks like the eye of a cyclops.

The whole belly button/scar combo kind of looks like the Cowardly Lion from the Wizard of Oz in this pic!

Combine that with the current state of my stretched out belly button, and I swear to you it looks like I’ve got a one-eyed blow fish growing off the front of my belly… or maybe it’s a one-eyed platypus… or a one-eyed pouty face on the back of Lord Voldemort’s head… or a red-eyed volcano about to explode… ohhh the possibilities are endless.

Shades of a belly button…

I’m not gonna lie, while I was quite horrified at first, I have actually had a bit of fun with it. Every day, it’s constantly growing and changing, which has provided me hours of glee trying to figure out what its new look most resembles. And for awhile there, I was able to make some pretty awesome guppy faces with it. (How many of you can make guppy faces with your face AND your belly button?) And, the coolest thing of all, I could totally manipulate it into a mouth (not quite so much anymore) and have conversations with Big Ring using it – which he totally loved 😉

Still, I’d much prefer my pretty belly button over this freak-of-nature one. Just saying…

Shades of a belly button was first published on Aug. 1, 2012.

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